State Of Blankness.

The dog days are over.

2011-07-23T21:31:00.000+05:30

Everybody's settling down. Some moving in, some moving out. Some getting married and some getting new jobs. It looks like everybody around is reaching that stage of life, together. At one go, the tables turn. Who knew getting out of college meant jumping into another roller coaster? We all did.

And still, it catches you by surprise one day when you are sitting idle, getting some time with yourself. Gone were the days where meeting friends was an everyday habit in college. No more mid day offs to laze at some homely cafe. Everybody's busy settling down. They may call it work, meetings or just stay at home time, but in the end, we are all getting in sync with the life we are about to live. It makes 6 years from now feel so close by. So natural and obvious.

Done are those crazy teenage years where a crush seemed like forever, gone is the student life where a notebook was an essential part of your life. Everybody had their last page conversations and stories, too bad you can't have that on your blackberry.

I guess its good to have memories to reminisce over. But it's also good to take a step back at look at the present. We may not be happy with everything we've done, with the day, with the work, with the people around us. But when you come back home and take a deep breath, talk to that person who makes you smile, you realize - we did okay.

For as long as we are happy, we did good.

Cheers!

The feeling of dance.

2011-06-16T22:02:00.000+05:30

The beats, the foot tapping, the choreographed synchrony, the rush of adrenalin, the feeling of letting go – All in what one can call Dance and movement.

Dance and movement connects the body and soul. Just close your eyes and sway to your favourite song, rock out even. The feeling of your body, moving to the rhythm of the music, can be calming to some and liberating to others. Just close your eyes, turn down the lights and move to the music. It doesn’t matter that you don’t know how, you don’t need to have the right steps. All you need to do is move your body.

There is no need for inhibition, imagine nobody around you, or if it helps, someone who moves with you. Listen to your body, listen to your mind. Forget the world outside; this is Your five minutes. There are no worries in this rhythmic world, no tensions, no deadlines. Just the music and you. Do what you feel like - jump, clap, act, ride a horse.

You can dance a trance or jump and spin. There are no rules. Let your body lead you. Somewhere down the path, you may even get creative.

Breathe. Let it go and smile. The world doesn’t seem so bad any more.

Cheers!

Choices.

2010-11-22T22:21:00.000+05:30

The night calls out now. It asks you to give in. Things seem to matter less in the darkness. Thoughts are streaming past and seem endless. The mess surrounds you, from within and without. You tread carefully on hearts. Yours lies somewhere beneath them and you can't lift it. Its heavy today dear child, I tell you now. The choices you make are promises for you to keep. A heavy heart sighs with indecision and uncertainty. You know not where the moon is.

Day slowly dawns upon you and you are beginning to feel lighter. Time was given to you to feel. You weighed your choices carefully, you thought. But dear child, no amount of thinking can change the future or tell you how exactly it will be. Time is offered to you and you start to buy it. Thoughts are built upon stubborn fences. They remain persistent but stable. Your continuum is losing balance, dear child. You are making a choice. You have been tipped over and you feel right. The steady blur around you is fading away, you begin to see clarity. You see time has reached you. You are at the toll booth of Decision.

A decision to have faith, you always made. Nobody can tell you different. You are at the toll booth and you have to pay now to pass through. You know not, dear child, how to pay, so you step aside, unsure of what lies beyond. Your faith shall not falter, dear child, but your decision is weighed in emotions. Nobody shall pick you up. Soon you shall realize, you do not have to pay, not the price you have in mind at least.

Life plays its games well.

Cheers!

Written

2010-10-19T23:03:00.000+05:30

Days pass by in a hazy blue. Today becomes tomorrow and tomorrow becomes next month. And yet, for the memories, there is always a place is yesterday. Memories of four years ago bring the bittersweet feelings associated with it. They bring back the reasons for writing as they once did. But that was yesterday. That writing is not for now. It is written and become a part of the old pages.

Today, has become a month ago and fresh memories and waiting to be written and made immortal. Feelings are fresh and colours are bright. It is the road not taken... in the past four years. These memories are different and new, feelings are treated differently. Again a reason to write and a reason to feel.

Happiness is no more momentary, we hope it stays.
Peace is no more an illusion, we hope there's more coming our way.
Love is no more an old memory, we hope it may be unconditional.

Cheers!

Because..

2010-09-25T21:06:00.000+05:30

Because..

The waiting never seems to end
The letters are never ever sent
The thoughts in the head never quiet down
the feeling inside is a droning sound.

Because...

The poet lies awake
Writing rhymes so fake
the poetry is made
as vague thoughts fade.

Because

The queen called,
hiding under a log
it became the rule
for all loving fools.

Beautiful people
thoughts are lethal
wave the magic wand
let go of the sand.

Its a quiet room. People come and sit. Some talk of things, some just drift. Soon they stand, smile and leave. That was one more hope - a chance to keep.

Cheers!

Shrinking.

2010-06-28T20:55:00.001+05:30

A craving for craziness.. Color it turquoise.
A need for change... But not you.
A new addiction.... to thoughts.

Close your eyes and breathe. Families talk to you, you listen. People think chaos exist within them. Wish you could say its true. But you are no healer, you have no power. So you listen. You learn. You absorb.

Now its soaking. The mug is filled and overflowing. You feel like choking. Breathe.

Who says you can't go away? I can make you, ask you or simply tell you. Go back to your world, dear friend. Free yourself from misery and drift away. You are right in everything you say. What you see maybe true, but i cannot choose to believe it. I shall sit by your side and listen. I shall agree and you shall even surprise me and make me smile. You make me curious, you amuse me.

A much needed break - from life and things. To go away far where nobody knows you and calls on you to listen and make choices.

An If Only moment. Danke. Reality ~~strikes~~ shall strike, soon. It should. It is raining on your cardboard box.

Cheers! To possible future excitement.

Abstracting.

2010-05-21T22:58:00.000+05:30

I watch white pages turn as I think about you tonight. Questions, I can hear, falling over each other as they try to reach me. No one clear thought strikes me but they all make sense.

I sit by silently and watch strangers whisper in the darkness of the warm room. Sweet nothings and bad advice all sound the same to me tonight. I hope for me I know where im going. I hope for you that you'll know better.

Words fill my white pages tonight. You are filling your world elsewhere. I am a part of it, but merely sidelined. I play my role and stay in the back. While i sit back and watch, i realize. Dear child, I wish you had called. But we fortold our destiny and i hastily agreed. Now i settle in bed to read and sleep silently, calming my thoughts as they rise with every word i write.

Good night dear child, drink your hopeful colours. For when you come home, you will lay down your head. And dear child, we both know, in your tired dreams, we both rest well.

A Theory of sorts.

2010-05-05T20:57:00.006+05:30

My theory. It is rooted in me. It is rooted in you. It is rooted in most of them too.

I speak from experience today. Like all other days, today has passed with many passing thoughts. One might wish it possible to write them all down.. Some may seem simply brilliant to some of us. And yet, when we do sit down to distangle the cobweb of thoughts, we have lost it among many other insignificant details.

People develop theories. They base it on scientific experiments and laws of science. They speak of the influence of variables.
I merely base it on life. My only influence are People.

The famous quote "I think, therefore I am" is indeed one to ponder upon. We are made up of our thoughts. Our thoughts are influenced by people. People are influenced by their thoughts. Which in turn is influenced by other people. It is a vicious spiral that grows into you. At the end of the day, every thinker assumes he/she thinks too much.

It is the irony of life that we question it. Since as long as we live, most of us do not find a satisfactory answer. For those of us who do, it doesn't seem worth questioning. But we shall all search, because in the end, what matters is that we searched, not whether we found the answer or not.

On a more personal note, too much is indeed too bad. It leads to a continuous rant and ends in vagueness. For now I pause, take a deep breathe as I move on to another thought...

Cheers!

Random post # 27356

2010-01-31T18:08:00.001+05:30

A gay man, 2 transgender women, an intellectual, my senior and me.

This is the story of the National Conference. At least for me it is. Today is a day later. A day later from the 2 day national Conference on Sexuality and Psychology. A day later from the hectic running around and putting confused pieces of the conference together.

Changes. A week of it all it has been. Who knew a week was enough. A roller coaster ride from fixing laptop to small, warm birthday, to spending quality time, to random partying and then running back to hectic conference fixes, dead film reviews, intellectual conversations with gay friends with a mixture of scandalous gossip.

And there was still more for photo taking, night singing, random driver talk and trips to out of town, flirty transgender babe and Freud discussions.

A week and a day later, I can still sit and write pages about it. I only need to figure out where to begin and where to end. This post has no particular order of things. Simply because there is no particular order to life right now. Order is not the word of the year it seems. Not for me at least. I remember in PUC one of my first stories was about chaos and confusion in other people’s lives and how I loved creating those. Today I write about my own.

*******************************************

There is no life plan. It’s a wish, an imaginary feeling to make one feel better about tomorrow. Life just happens. There is no stopping it. One day im thinking how life would, no scratch that, shall be when I have this, this and this done. And the next I realize im floating down a different stream. My boat still has pieces of my fate I control, but its hidden somewhere beneath the oars that lie limp beside me. It took me a random movie to realize I need to pick up those pieces and put it in a waterproof bag. It took me some thinking to realize I can pick up those oars and give my life boat a direction. Sure the heavy waters pull me slightly off direction, but they all join the big ocean in the end. And the ocean is not the end. It’s the endless.

I tend to lose myself in the process,
But I find myself in all the mess.
I may get disillusioned on the way,
But reality shines as bright as day.
I like to get high and dream,
I watch stars as I float down my stream.
But sooner or later I sit up and think,
And life makes sure to give me a hint.

Cheers.

New Year randomness

2010-01-04T22:59:00.004+05:30

So its a New Year.. New times, new lines... new crimes.

A New year is like a new beginning for some, an end to things for some... and just a passing experience for most.

Life experiences are always good... Sometimes people learn from it.

Decisions are tough to make. Especially when one is completely responsible for it and its consequences.

Bittersweet is an interesting word. Sums up life so perfectly sometimes. Its a sweet feeling with bitter edges.

There is always space in someone else's life boat. And there is always somebody in your boat. When you think you are alone, there is always somebody else at sea.

There are some topics on which you can't say anything. No words, just feelings.

**************************************************************************************
Moments under the moonlight,
Bright flashes at night.
Tagged memories,
Everybody sees.
So smile please and say cheese.

Morning's maze,
brings the blank and dazed.
Soon enough, everybody says-
Move on, not worth the wait.

Its New Year,
Drive away those fears,
move to second gear,
And just say cheers!

:)

The Spiral

2009-12-05T22:01:00.000+05:30

There was a girl
who lived awhile.
Her life was good,
but not without cries.
People are contagious, people are weak.
People need people and so did she.
Time passed by, she found someone,
who witnessed her life and helped her some.
She did too, time and again,
it was spiral, it became a game.
Then came a few more, worth the wait,
but the spiral was only half made.
So she moved and found a new town,
the more she tried, the more she frowned.
Then came the day, when they called,
thats when she knew, the spiral had stalled.
Going nowhere and yet far away,
when she woke up, it was still another day.

Bright sunshine, luminous moon
give her hope, give it soon.
Cloudy skies, lightening and thunder
these are days that make her wonder.
Now she has only one thought,
Two words - Spiral out.

The Life of Others.

2009-10-22T21:05:00.005+05:30

Indeed seems interesting.
Indeed looks amusing.

Then there were those few who knew it was just a phase. Get drunk, get high and at night its time to go. And in the day they all walk away. Each to his own, life is weirdly potrayed.

More noises, more silence, whichever way the wind blows, over rocks, over lakes, over mere mortals who were underdosed.

Point at stars, blow the candles, blow the smoke. Random barks as people silently go. Alseep a few, cold were some. Lights disappeared as morning had come.

Green grass, White cheese, some water, some ease. A house was something to which people come and go, nobody cares, nobody knows.

Large lands full of people, some get to sit, cause the rest of them - only spit. Talk about thoughts, some need to breathe. They think a lot, they need to live.

Walk across darkness, sleep beneath beds, the Life of Others is merely half said.

Song for home.

2009-09-12T23:13:00.005+05:30

People sing all these songs
But for me its been so long
Just one place i wanna be
Home is all i wanna see.

I want a blue moon sky,
One that breathes and one that sighs
I want that place of mine,
It makes me grin and makes me smile.

People sometimes, they ask me this,
So, what is it that you miss?
That one place which brings me bliss
My Life and everything it is.

I want a blue moon sky,
One that breathes and one that sighs
I want that place of mine,
It makes me grin and makes me smile.

When I wander down the roads i feel,
something missing, something unreal
Then I trip to memory lane
And remember, that sweet smell of rain.

I want a blue moon sky,
One that breathes and one that sighs
I want that place of mine,
It makes me grin and makes me smile.

:)

Sigh.. Home..

Things i hope/wish/want to do.

2009-07-03T22:32:00.005+05:30

In no particular order:

* Float on the Dead Sea

* Visit atleast 3 Wonders of the World

* Go Paint balling with a big gang of friends

* Go to a Metallica concert - DONE! :D

* Ride a thoroughbred horse

* Get to sit in a Lamborghini (LP - 560 if possible)

* Witness an amazing sunset on the beach with friends - done

* Learn to play the drums

* Bitch slap someone ( Hannah Montana/Paris Hilton... )

* Get a life-changing haircut

* Live outside (alone)

* Write a book

* Go on a road trip - done <3

* Be a kickass psychologist

* Drink champagne

* Witness a miracle

* Think of more things to put here.

Cheers!

My week so far.

2009-05-30T20:41:00.003+05:30

Im bored and irritated.
Also hungry.

-yawn-

Time to get to work in an empty house.

Level 20 with a Tire iron it is.

Oh we graduated. Yay.

random thunkings.

2009-05-11T21:45:00.003+05:30

When you wake up in the morning, what’s your first thought? When you listen to my voice what do you hear? Will there be more days to pass by silently or sleepless nights? You will dance today for the world is yours. Or you make it seem so. Tomorrow again, you look for me. And soon you will push me into day before. For again, your day will come to dance, dear child and dance you shall. You will build your own world and dream your own dreams. I will be needed no more – to push or to keep. So I will stand now, my child. I will go. There is no business here. You will look at me for no answers.

**********

You know what you think, I merely see it. I am that shiny silver part of your room, in front of you now. I see what you see, and yet we both know to hide it well. Some days you wake up and you like what you see. Those are the days I like too. Some days you don’t even need to look and I can still see you. I reflect you faithfully. Some days I look away and you pull me towards you. You force me to look. And then I see it. I see you. I see me. I see our life.

***********

You feel mad today. Just like yesterday and the day before. You think it shall never change. I see your world, but only sometimes. Dear child, the waiting will end. But I do not know what happens after. Nor does he and nor will she. I stay with you today, I give you hope. Tomorrow, I shall be on my way. Looking in the opposite direction, when life moves forward, maybe fun. You neither know the way nor the destination. But you shall arrive. And somebody else will show you what lies yonder. Among the trees is a place. It’s broken down but can be mended. It is not yours. But one day it will be. That day you shall turn and head back the way you came and remember - It was fun.

*************

You drink and dance. You hear the music in you. You close your eyes and see her face, her sad smile. Next to her you see the writing. The beautiful words embrace your mind. You feel him kneel down beside you, you are about to do the same. You pray with all your heart, he is too. You stand and feel the raindrop, you feel her presence. You smiled that day. Then you wished and prayed again. Only this time you just saw her sad smile. Your wish came true, your prayers were answered. Open your eyes dear child, your angel stands far. Smile your sad smile, for you wished for those beside you and he left her flowers.

***************

You talk from far away. You wish you were here. Days pass without your presence. I feel you no more. Your smile makes me smile and your words make me believe. But I will see you no more. It is you. It is me. It is the world around us. It is them. For you, I hope we meet someday. For you, dear child, I will look away. For you, my brother, I will wait. For you, dear friend, I will write.

Random

2009-04-29T22:46:00.003+05:30

So its been awhile. I switched to the good ole pen and paper sometime ago, seemed more inspiring. :)

Neighbours fighting as usual. Its so funny listening to them. The little 6year old kid shouts at everybody in the end.

So Avial was good fun. So was the Simpsons Clue! :)

Mysore getaway. I love the zoo and the only gorilla our nation hosts...

Still want to go bowling...! :(

April was a good month actually. Many birthdays, quick getaways, random fun days, brownies, music and of course, the rain! Oh and I voted too! And i cooked and cleaned! April's been a very productive month.

Ok. Attention span is over. Found new distraction. Mission incomplete.

But cheers anyways!

The Sims life.

2009-04-01T18:18:00.007+05:30

There were days when we thought life was getting too monotonous. We wake up in the morning, we get ready, we rush to college. We sit in class, and we sit in class and we sit in class. Some nice food and some lame jokes in between. Some books to read and some music.

Then came the PMS and the blehs. Sometimes it was cause of other people, sometimes it was because of this monotony of college. No wonder most of us didn't tear up during farewell. It was still part of the schedule. It was still a part of that life. The Sims Life.

When you play that game you realise how addicting it is. Its the same thing you make your Sim character do over and over again. And yet, its so very addicting. It is so like life. We do the same things everyday. Sure, we earn some skill points and make friends and all that, but its still the same addicting game. Over and over again.

We got pissedd off with that sameness. We got bleh. And now we realise how much it shall be missed. No more college. No more waking up early in the morning or late and rushing/ripping to make it on time. No more reading books in class and pulling peoples leg. No more Sum food and khakra. No more headphones in ears. No more random class gossip, no more weird fat teachers. The Sim life, or rather, that Sim life is over.

Now what? Finding new things to do, new ways to pass time, to occupy ourselves. No assignments, research projects to use as excuses. All the work you never had time for and always wanted time to do can be done now. But wait, what were all those things?!

So anyways, now we have time to clean rooms, cook food, play random games, meet old friends, wake up late and be very jobless.

Yenjoy.

Cheers!

PS: if anybody bored and jobless, put call. We shall do keeda.
Sigh. Somethings never change...

On everything.

2009-03-21T18:54:00.003+05:30

Another chapter comes to an end... College is over. Everyone is realising it slowly. One last time to do this, one last chance to do that.

Church Street Inn is a fun place to hang out at.

Slam books to be filled, photos to be taken, people to be missed.

A Really Happy Birthday!

A Simpsons research paper.

Gokarna? Yes? Nein?

.... till the magic lasts.

Rain!

Shopping purple. Some food and some fun... A Lot of sun!

A blog post on moi!

On booze and coffee, on chocolate and milk. On chances and happiness, on thoughts and wishes. On people and days, on papers and blehs. On parties and cakes, on friends and smiling faces. On status msgs, on weird made up stories. On moments and magic, on hopes and maybes. On you, and you and you.

This blog post is on Everything.

Cheers!

For the medallion

2009-03-08T20:21:00.003+05:30

A few words at the end of the hunt. good times and some.

White words will show you some
running around will be fun
find nature, find magic
black letters are not so tragic.

they don't end and yet they do
if you reach, you're one of the few
talk to them, it really helps
karma points and the ice melts.

Imagination, in your hand
if you pleased her you're the man
so then smile, eat some food
it really does help the mood.

the waiting gets tough
Patience is rough
and shadows play
with what the words must say.

Blossoms and butterflies, stars and days
when you're in there, it's in your face
what you read, what you saw
what you know is all you got.

Before you know it, its all over
it's somebody else who's somewhere lower
hugs and hopes, smiles and smokes
where's the pillow, where's the poke.

Now, sleep, eat, do something else
tomorrow is another test
soon something else may come our way
till then... well... nothing more to say.

Cheers!

A Post.

2009-01-29T18:29:00.001+05:30

What to blog about?

Its the next year, its a successful birthday, its happy moments, its random shitty papers.
Its mint lemon rasam, its smile smile gifts, its bonding peoples, its time to sleep.

The beginning of the year is always an interesting time. Things happen... Or not.

Its That time of the year i feel all aww about things... My birthday just does that. There are a lot of people out there who don`t get the point of birthdays and the deal. But I dont give a damn bout them. Birthdays are special to me. I like the fact that I was born. I like the fact that You were born... well, a few of you atleast. :D

Some people you spend time with and yet it doesn`t seem enough. Some people are just so nice to talk to. And some people don`t even need to talk. They.just.know... Weird.

I Do have a few "special mentions" in my life. Friends who matter to me, who make a difference. But they know who they are. The happy person, the best friend, the two storytellers [and rant], the elitist foofer, the somberi pillion, the smileys.
Oh man! I just reminded me of another blogger who gives weird names to people on her blog. But really, I like these names ok! :) And plus its a one-time thing only.

¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬

Being curious can be a good thing. But it depends on what you are curious about. As always, its people for me. You learn new things about the human mind and its strange ways of working everyday! Why DO people behave so strangely sometimes?

People meet people, people hang with people. Then sometimes, people really don`t get people. Thus, they move on. Find another with which they bond... But, its never that simple is it?

People are complicated. I like Calvin better. :)

Is it bright where you are?
Have the people changed?
Does it make you happy you`re so strange..

Cheers!

Christmas spirit :)

2008-12-18T20:36:00.004+05:30

Happy days,
Chismas phase,
making things,
while they sing!

happy pigs,
cinnamon sticks,
yummy food,
funny mood!

happy elf,
with do-it-yourself,
secret gifts,
and free lifts!

When its time,
there is rhyme,
and some cheer,
will be near!
[P.S: Also beer! :P ]

The ever-changing life.

2008-12-18T20:03:00.004+05:30

I sometimes wonder...

We all rant, we all go through similar experiences in life... yet how much they differ!

We all feel, we all know what a certain feeling feels like... and yet we can’t warn somebody else about it.

Most of us "get it" when a friend says something... yet we’re so helpless.

And we all know what some feelings, people, situations, days do to us... yet there is no way of stopping it.

Life is complicated,
Life is beautiful.
Life is an open, continuous road,
Life will go on.

I think back on all the shit I’ve been through, all the wrong friends, all the wrong decisions... It makes me wonder... Im sure everybody has doubts - about others, friends, feelings, decisions... themselves.

Makes me wonder if all the discussions, arguments and psychological testing really help people feel better or worse. Self Acceptance scale? Yeah ok, thanks for letting me know I don’t/do accept myself. Wasn’t aware of it, but now I am!

Throughout life there are/will be small things that changes the way we feel, think about ourselves. Its subtle, but its there. Suddenly one day, you realise life is nothing like what it used to be. You don’t think that way anymore, you’ve grown up? Questionable. :)

Everything changes, everybody changes. Scary, but live with it. After all you are a part of the whole. You are no different.

But then again... you are.

Cheers!

To life and complicated posts!

Of this and that.

2008-11-30T22:04:00.002+05:30

Lame kannada music blasting in the background. Something about how these two people cannot forget each other. Some stupid club function. How is Rajyotsava related to a lame kannada song sung badly by some average singer?

She tries blasting The Beatles to drown out the lame music. It doesnt work. The beats of the music at that club gets faster and louder and finally ceases... only to be followed by another song by another slightly better singer.

People come online on gtalk and start random conversations. For awhile she`s distracted with conversations and food. Interesting status msgs to interesting people. Gtalk is a well-equipped timepass tool.

He finally comes online and there is some random conversation about the football match. The topic changes, a few more nice words and lame jokes. 10 minutes already and he has to go. A `Whatever` followed by curt goodbyes.

The kannada music is still blaring. The Beatles lost this time. Some more people talk. More people go.
Now, there is hardly anything left to do online... She looks around, lost in thought. Maybe read that book. She`s still thinking of curt goodbyes.

She`s reading about epistomology and subjectivity. She`s thinking about words.
Her thoughts are interrupted. She doesnt reply to the message this time. She`s still thinking.
Another message. A smile. Her fingers tap away happily before turning back to the screen.

The lame kannada music finally stops. The Beatles won. :)

Time to say good night.
Just another evening online. Just another day that passed.

Good night my friends. Sleep well and dream sweet. Tomorrow will be another day, evening, night. Lets hope it brings something diffferent. Or are we comfortable with what we have?

Everything in its place.

And like the end of every other post,
Cheers!

Thinking and decoding..

2008-11-17T22:33:00.010+05:30

There were lives that passed us by,
We didn't know what their's was like.
Phases, people and few other blogs,
People aint that different after all.

Sitting in class, I look around,
People talk, people frown.
There are a few others, who have no clue,
Mundane topics - Should sweatshirts be blue?

Walking out and I meet an old friend,
She talks of days that have come to an end.
Many others, just ramble on
soon one day, they will all be gone.

Wherever I look, this is what i see,
This feeling inside, its getting to me.
Decode and think, am I lost?
This time for me, my fingers are crossed!

Random feelings poetry... Decoding what Im feeling... Not being very successful. Abort mission?

Oh well... Cheers!

Happiness!

2008-11-11T20:54:00.003+05:30

-grin-

This is a weirdly happy post.

-grin-

Well... This is the kind of happiness that comes because nothing is wrong with life at the moment. I mean, everybody has small misfortunes and bad days... But still.. Somehow life is not all that bad!

Sure I'd still rather be elsewhere than here... But here is comfortable too, right now - Everything in its right place :)

Life is definitely the way You look at it.
I think I'll look at it with some happiness. Or at least try... Everybody knows there will be times when Poo Happen...

Making a list of things you get high is fun!

-Chocolate!
- Lays!
-surrounding highness
-Happy music!
-Horses
- Boots!
-Lamborghini... :D
- Good food!
- randomness!
-mint hookah!
-riding in the rain...
- day outs/ sleepovers
- Coonoor...
- Making absolutely No Sense!
- Sampeep! :P

Sigh... Cheers to life! And its not-so-badness... :P

P.S : Shall keep adding to this list i guess... there is So much more...

.........

2008-10-19T19:39:00.003+05:30

I sit alone in the dark, and i wonder if I miss it...

I stare out the window and its dark, its blank.
flashes of the past, memories - fond or not,
nothing seems to bother me right now.
im just sitting, staring into the emptiness, out there a candle burns.
its not a bad feeling, its not sad.
its simply the lack of it all.

this is me. my feeling. my story.

This, is my state of blankness.

Cheers.

Circus of life

2008-10-09T20:55:00.002+05:30

People running everywhere,
Life seems like a happy fair.
Jokers, jugglers, lions and some,
everybody's having fun!

Different people come to see,
they all seem curious to me.
Jump up high, try to fly,
"This is life", they say and sigh.

Soon its all boring and old,
that is when the day gets cold.
Very few things seem brand new,
now, nobody has a clue.

Life goes on, blankly so,
then one day, its time to go.
Change your mind, look up and smile,
We are going another mile.

This will be another day,
taking me down another way.
Want to see another town,
oh joker! Don't let me frown...

What it is to feel...

2008-09-30T21:45:00.002+05:30

There are moments in a person's life when the feeling you get cannot be described.

-When you realize how much somebody means to you,
-When you realize how much somebody means to somebody else.

When you realize how much you can feel.

...........

Moments are after all, just momentary. It will pass.
Feelings - They linger on...

Cheers!

A new beginning...

2008-09-27T20:58:00.003+05:30

Its nearly the end of this month. It hasn't been very different. And yet it has...

Good things, Bad things, Do they always balance out?

Her status message very aptly describes the happy parts of the month - Of foof, do doos and happy people. :)

There are some days in your life when you are unsure of it all. And then something comes along and the tables turn.
You think, and think and think, and yet your decision becomes impulsive.
There were days when Why? actually became Why not?

A stressed out month, "morogolds" everywhere. A productive month, all the work is done.
A fun month, light moments bring a smile.

It was the after effects of August.
People are strange. They make me curious...

Its always nice to see people happy and smiling.
"We need happy people because we can't make ourselves happy anymore," she said.
"No way. We just want [not need] to find different ways to stay happy, discover new ways."

Its true. Maybe its because we are scared of losing the happiness we got by a certain thing/person. That is why we are always looking. Simple joys of life, there are so many.
If not this, we can turn to something else. If not that we are looking for another way.... Just in case.
But yes, We can be happy if we wanted to. We have all had happy days to remember and bring back to life. What's stopping us? People? Thoughts? Feelings? Experiences? Memories?

Again, good things and bad things. Don't they balance out?
For every bad memory, there is a good memory to think of.
For every bad/sad feeling there is a good feeling - doesn't really have to be happiness. It could be peace of mind. That would make Me happy for sure!

"The things that things do to you!"

Ah, life... Its full of it. Every kind of 'it' you can imagine! It makes a person wonder....

Cheers to smiling days, curious people and interesting lives!

May August pass.

2008-09-04T19:10:00.004+05:30

May August pass and take with it
All the bad times and the shit
May September be another month
Where there will be happiness and fun.

I hope this September brings happiness. I hope it brings surprises. I hope it brings fun times.
I hope this September brings interesting days. I hope it brings less complications. I hope it brings good decisions.

Good things and bad things happened at the end of August... Her birthday was so much fun! The preparation for it was so much fun! I'm glad she liked it all. That was a good day.

His cell is still switched off. He is still in a bad mood. We need to meet! Not good, not good......

Coonoor! Where do I even began? The beautiful cemetery, the nice weather, the fun times and the funny people! Everyday was something to do, something to happen... Cheers to the Homecoming!

Too bad about that though... Shit happens, people make mistakes.

September is here!
After effects of August it has been so far... Things will happen this month. It maybe for good. Not just me, them too.
For good.
I hope.
Just as long as it doesn't become hope with a C... :D

Cheers to the passing of August, may September bring us peace.

This is still August.

2008-08-19T16:38:00.004+05:30

So we're still here. The month is long.

There were good things, there were bad things. People were high, people were lost. I am here, I am thinking...

The Homecoming
The birthday.
Karma Police
Playing music.
Our fight
Our talk.

Our lives...

So, many more people are aware of my August theory now. It maybe true, it may not be for you.
You may want to disprove it. I hope you do.

The ironic days... Things are falling into place. Reality bites, but its life.

Inertia creeps... I don't know what to do now. I am used to a routine. I am used to my life.

I was watching this nice movie today... "Pay it forward" it was called. Makes sense to me.
The basic concept was - You help three people, as in truly, when they really need it. And they in turn, help three other people, who help three other! And before you know it, The problem of Global warming will end!! [No, the Movie was not about global warming... Its just the concept thats cool.]

So thats about whats happening... Preparations for birthday and movie is making me run around a little and keep me occupied... Brother was here! More clothes, more funny times... She left though. :(

Cheers to the end of August!

August is here.

2008-08-01T17:09:00.004+05:30

I'll keep my fingers crossed...

"We're having a 'talk' tomorrow."
"Don't go. Stay for awhile. Don't leave me with myself.."
"I don't want to be over him...."

I have to go now. Mom in the background, Sleep! she says.... Good night y'all. - 11:00p.m

11:32 - "Hi, sleeping?" he asks... "Simply called," he says.... We talk for awhile.... Have to sleep now...Good night, take care man.

12:08 - She calls. She's in a shitty mood. He's going to do it, she says. She's in a shitty mood. She's looking for that diary. She's in a shitty mood. Call those bums I say... She said ya ok.... I love you, she says. I love you so much too.

12:51 - My brother. He calls. "That guy, THAT guy," he says. "That guy has a girlfriend! What the hell am i doing! I'm ashamed of myself" he says. He is laughing, he can't believe it. He's very amused.
"OK, go sleep now" he says... Good night bro.

August is here.

August 1st :
The day has begun, the month has begun.
- The day doesn't feel good.
- She left a suicide note.
- What is the point?? we argue....
- She cried. "Don't EVER...." she said.

- Stones change things....
"We're ok :)" she says... That's the best news I've heard today.

Maybe there will be good days after all...

I'll keep my fingers crossed...

Cheers!

The four of us! [SPAS]

2008-07-27T21:09:00.005+05:30

This is something for all those times...
For Qwiky's,
For sleepovers,
For crazy parties,
For random days.

For every time we made a memory, For every time you made the difference.
For you girls... For my girls...

It all started once upon a time,
Well those days, they were not so fine.
They sat on their white horses and they came,
Picked me up and played this game...

One showed Hope, could dangle on a string,
She said, well, just the right thing!
Snakes and ladders - thats how life is,
With her around, there's nothing I'll miss.

The other told me stories of fun,
She had just all the right ones!
Chessboard of life - black and white was what I'd seen,
She showed me the grey in between.

This one, she knew exactly how it felt,
They are alike, the stories we tell.
Life like a carom pawn- This way or that,
To stick with a decision, thats what she taught.

Together, we became the SPAS,
What it is? Really, don't ask.
They pull me through, these girls of mine,
And I love them, all through time.

PS: Guess this is as "girly" as I can get! Love you bums!

Cheers!

Of closure

2008-07-26T20:20:00.007+05:30

There is sand in my shoes,
I’m waiting…
It is time for the blues.

This was supposed to be “it”
Where everything perfectly fit.
I’m waiting…
My shadow grows longer.

They sit by my side,
So close, so far.
I’m waiting…Forever -
Feels like I’m sitting all alone, inside your head.

But now the tables have turned,
It’s all gone, just dropped those feelings behind me.
Somehow I knew it would be this way,
Somehow I knew it would fade away.

This wait for destiny won’t do,
Tears fall down my face, the taste is something new.
The year will pass, the seasons go.

Picked up my thoughts and blew it to the wind,
Watched, as the sea washed it away.
The people by my side, they are here to stay.

When you make up your mind,
When you think its fine,
It is over.

So this is the day
And we both will agree,
It was always meant to be this way.

Goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend,
Our days were good, but have come to an end.
All things are said and done, our bags are packed – We will soon be gone.

The 4 of us...

2008-07-22T20:50:00.003+05:30

-grin- Something i wrote when full love was coming for these bums!

Met you on a day so dark,
But on that day you left a mark.
As nuts as you maybe,
Best friends are what ya'll are to me.

Times we share, things we dare,
We are crazy but we care...
Take a trip, take a sip,
When on the bike, yes we rip!

Online smiles, nice surprise,
You know cards, not the dice.
Where there are stones, there is a way
And their smiles make my day.

Here's to the happy times to come,
And that music to which we hum.
May those lights guide us home,
Or like Rls we will roam!

So i wrote a crazy poem for you,
But its just to say you guys are too cool!

August approaches...

2008-07-19T18:07:00.003+05:30

It's happening again.

History repeating itself - Team B, 1 year old book, the play list... The Bleh.

It's slowly making its way through all the happiness, this feeling that I was once so familiar with. Only this time, I know what it is. I have a name. I have that weird feeling.

"It's amazing how you can still smile after that!"
"Go talk to him"
"Since we had to bring something that meant a lot to us personally...."

"Its all a matter of luck."
"See, its a sign."

Slowly losing things, slowly losing myself.

A passion, I need a new passion.
A book, I need a new book.

The circle of life - guess this was meant to happen - destiny - faith - hope - let go of the bleh - be happy - cause its the circle of life, it will come back.

Cheers to what's to come!

Goa... go ya and random life issues.

2008-07-10T23:00:00.002+05:30

Well.. OK.. So it didn't happen.

Goa. So well planned. So wanted to go. So needed the fun.
Everything was thought about... Well, almost everything! People change minds...

So what if its raining? It might have felt good.

That well deserved break is a long way of... Maybe its not well deserved yet. Goa - always wanted to go there... In the train and everything! It was said that if too much planning occurs, we shall end up not going.... Something that was scorned then.

But well... OK... It didn't happen.

Other random life issues - More for my reference in the future than yours.
Pot pourri
Paris hilton the guy.
DC
My first patient.
The Vamp
Her testimonial.
The fear
The coincidence of in-my-face 5 times and more.
The confiding
The considering.
The tin helmet
The pmsing day.
Set dosas,
tea hunger.
Lunch
leave.

Ah well, sleep IS of utmost importance. Just like currency on your phone.

Cheers! :)

A day that happened.

2008-07-04T19:22:00.004+05:30

That is by far my Most sane title for my blog post.
Comm.raids - Funny day.
Can't believe he took My blazer!! What coincidence!!
Coldplay - Chicagos
T shirt - Cd
Violet hill - Yellow

Oh what a thing to do...

Me - You.

It was a nice day. Sun shining... rather rain falling! Music in the air. Fun times, "cordial conversations". A crazy ride back... the boots. A day to remember.

Its kind of weird you know, now that i think about it. How things change...
But I do feel like Im stuck somewhere.
Like there is something I need to figure out.
Its something at the back of my head...

Maybe I Do need a break. Do something else, lose myself somewhere.

I read something i had written a few months ago...
You are an open book slowly coming to its end, but I'm scared to finish it, cause i may not understand the story. It wont be the same even if i open the book again... It will just be words, full of memories.

Its ending now, unless you begin a new chapter...

Or I pick up a new book.

Cheers to the life we live, weird as it may get!

Random high

2008-06-29T14:16:00.004+05:30

Trance.
A high.
Music.
Moving to the beats.

People around, people with booze, people with people.
People alone, people in the corner, people with their eyes closed.

The floor is almost full, the lights play here and there... People sway.
The right music is played, there is shouts of appreciation in the air.
Close your eyes and enjoy the music. Feel like letting go... Random steps on the floor.
Open your eyes, smile at your pal. Things couldn't feel better. Dance together, moves nobody else can do.
The music comes to an end... Stand back awhile. Watching a few others dance, smile at some moves... Very amusing.
But nothing can keep you from dancing very long... Moving to rhythm again, thoughts running in your head, lyrics you say...
The last song. No more. Time to leave, who wants to go?
Pick up your stuff, pick up yourself... Walk out of the high.

There is no better stress buster than a good party and music to go high on!
Haven't been there,done that in a long while...
Here' s to the invention of good mood music and dance and parties!

Cheers!

Poetry of.

2008-06-20T22:41:00.003+05:30

Something I wrote long back.. just posting it now..

All alone in a bright lit room,
nobody to turn to.
All for one in this bright lit room,
somebody to run to.

Look beside you, look behind
nobody who trusts you.
Look inside you, look for time
somebody will love you.

And when they say,
this will be the day,
don't believe it
just walk away,
they only speak
the same old shit
nothing changes,
nothing will.

They will forget, they will live
you are the one that time will kill.
So stop right now and take a breath,
then you shall see, no more dances with death.

Or you'll find the mistakes you make,
once kept you happy are now just a fake.
maybe when you hope, you will see
happiness is a one-way street.

Now let it go, let it leave,
then i will come back and life will be
the way we want it - just you and me,
you made the promise, now pay the fee.

Cause its a bright lit room tonight,
and there's only two people there,
and the other one,
shouldn't have cared.

As we go on...

2008-06-16T18:51:00.003+05:30

Third year.
My last year.
The bonding year?
Super seniors.

"So, where are you going after this year?"

I don't want to leave. I can still look back on my past two years and think of all the memories I have had.
Friends, parties, classes, heartbreak and hopes... It has been by far the most eventful years of my life. Sometimes i wish nothing would change, or at least they come back to how it was.
And then again, maybe not.

The "what if" situations always make their presence felt. I know we are all going through these insecurities about the future... I read the blogs and they all wonder if they are good enough. I do too. "What if" i am not really good enough? They are so many people in my class who might be better than me, who i think are better than me.

But we are seniors, we have to set an example to the juniors. We have to pretend to know what it really is like.
But do we really?
Will we manage to do everything... or at least half of what we hope to in life? Will we become what we want to in this ever-changing, unpredictable life?
But people have before, I guess we will too.

Then there is everybody... The people I have been with, seen for the past two years or so... Is this really going to be the last chance? The last time I will ever sit with them in the same class, share the same absurdities.
Not to mention the varieties of food...! :D
Will I ever see the people i hope to years from now? Reunions may be the best alternative.

Anyways... For all those who care, and I care for, I guess we all do want it bad enough to make it happen the way we want it. After all, I don't think we would have gotten so far otherwise! So lets keep it going...

We shall change the world!

um... yeah. That.

P.S: I really like the following song. Says it right. [Vitamin C - Graduation]

And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives
Where we're gonna be when we turn 25
I keep thinking times will never change
Keep on thinking things will always be the same
But when we leave this year we won't be coming back
No more hanging out cause we're on a different track
And if you got something that you need to say
You better say it right now cause you don't have another day
Cause we're moving on and we can't slow down
These memories are playing like a film without sound
And I keep thinking of that night in June
I didn't know much of love
But it came too soon
And there was me and you
And then we got real cool
Stay at home talking on the telephone with me
We'd get so excited, we'd get so scared
Laughing at our selves thinking life's not fair
And this is how it feels

1 - As we go on
We remember
All the times we
Had together
And as our lives change
Come whatever
We will still be
Friends Forever

So if we get the big jobs
And we make the big money
When we look back now
Will our jokes still be funny?
Will we still remember everything we learned in school?
Still be trying to break every single rule
Will little brainy Bobby be the stockbroker man?
Can we ever find a job that won't interfere with a tan?
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly
And this is how it feels

Repeat 1

Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?
Can we survive it out there?
Can we make it somehow?
I guess I thought that this would never end
And suddenly it's like we're women and men
Will the past be a shadow that will follow us 'round?
Will these memories fade when I leave this town
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly

Repeat 1 (3x)

Cheers!

The days of the cardboard boxes...

2008-06-15T11:58:00.003+05:30

College started.
"Intellectually stimulating conversations" on one side, the crazy "because we like being absurd" on the other.
"Art imitates life"- The most controversial statement of the day. What is art? What is imitation? What is life!?

Why do we discuss things if we know we will never find a solution?
Because its in the ambiguity that the beauty lies.

Reminds me of the cliche statement of how its the journey that is important and not the destination.

I quote something off Chicken Soup - "I miss the days of the cardboard boxes."

Cardboard boxes = Childhood.
The age of innocence, the age where "complications" was an unknown word, the age where even a cardboard box was enough to amuse us.
And then...

We grew up.

No. I'm not saying it is a bad thing. In fact, "I'm loving it!" It's all part of this so-called life. But it is so very interesting... The experiences you have in life, your regrets, your memories, your thoughts - They all change. One day your sitting here thinking life will be this way because it can't be any other way... and before you know it, you will be saying the famous statement- "Who would have ever thought...?" or along those lines.
Doesn't it ever make you wonder?

Life is just the kind of thing that gets me thinking. It comes right before People and after "Do Not Press" buttons.

Cheers!

Kerala - Memories - Don't wanna miss a thing!

2008-06-04T13:27:00.003+05:30

No, I'm not quite done yet! :)

Yes, it was true we had to leave the next morning... He didn't want us to leave. I forgot to mention the convincing session last night.
Nobody wanted to go, but we had to...

...So nobody woke up in the morning.

Kerala - The memories - the people - the trip-

" I could stay lost in this moment forever,
Every moment spent with you, is a moment I treasure...
And no, I don't wanna miss a thing!"

Our 3rd day at Mallu land...

.... When we finally did wake up, it was with smiles on our faces,
.... She decided to try and get some work done if possible - It was all about snakes and ladders for awhile,
.... I go online, try to keep in touch with my other world.
.... It's time for some home breakfast, the Author and the Shakespeare fan come too.
.... Some Uno? No, we see the photos, upload the others, include the videos - Today will be the day of memories.
.... We made them read the memories we left behind. More mallu talk,but they smile.
.... She wants the hammock, I want the music.
.... There was tapioca chips for boredom.
.... Shakespeare fan left in awhile, the tapioca chips were over.
.... It was the four of us, our music and our lives.
.... Two tried sleeping, two made the play list.
.... The aunt wanted a computer. They thought they'll go.... They didn't.
.... So, it was the beach again. :)

Another beautiful sunset - Another memory...
The waves were playing on those rocks - The rocks were used to it.
Thoughts were playing in our minds - We were used to it.

We sat by the beach and looked out into the sea... She made a beautiful poem, he thought of another place. Two best friends glanced, at their two best friends and smiled. We could be happy - I guess we are... :)
There were few more photos... Some very touching. Time to leave.
We say our goodbyes to the mesmerizing beach, the waves, the sunset... The thoughts.
More Arabic fela fels in the car, we stop by coffee day for a frappe. She wants chocolate. We have 7up and juice and come up with Bike and Bake! The fun times slowly draw to their close - We are back home.

Our bags are packed, we are ready to leave. We eat dinner - he fought with mom. Some people Never learn! Vek is going to miss us - He has already started the countdown. We sit on the swing and chat awhile, Vek remembers the photo I wanted! Some blinding flashes later the picture is finally taken.
Now, really, it was time to leave. The car arrives. There is Only mallu talk and laughter on the way. We sit in the car for awhile and they come up with a crazy plan of driving down to Mangalore! No, it didn't happen.*Phew*

We are finally in the bus - Very local. And we finally say goodbye. Oh, one came back with us. Apparently after all that trying to convince her to stay, he convinced himself to come!

So, goodbye Kozikode [Calicut].
Goodbye, lame author,
Goodbye beautiful beach...

But there will be more - memories, fun times, unbelievable moments.
Here's to friendship and crazy ideas!
Here's to us!

Love you ppls!
Cheers!

P.S: So much for thinking this shall be my shortest post!

Kerala - memories - Wayanad

2008-06-02T21:51:00.007+05:30

Hmm... time for day 2... More memories, more smiles...

Waking up early in the morning, waking them up early in the morning!
Chundalam boys arrive. The road trip begins...

.... Me and my fellow road loafer,
.... She and the guy who had a slight aversion to girls since 7th standard,
..... Our lame author and his friend ride quietly behind... [but there will be bursts of singing for pure entertainment]
..... Its going to be a long ride - My first ever road trip!

And so, I finally went to Wayanad!
A hill station, winding roads... There will be smoke breaks.
A little interesting conversation, a lot of fun. The place is beautiful, the weather was perfect. He said we were lucky. :)
Hunger creeps in, nobody had breakfast - we stop at little mallu restaurant. Chai is always good. Kerala parothas remind me of college cafeteria.
We ride again, there is little ripping... beautiful tea estates - they remind her of Ooty again. They remind me of Ooty and masala chai. We look for the right road to Eddakal caves and finally reach!
1.2km walk they said... Much more than that we realized! We climb, complain and crack lame jokes... Not to forget - nearly get trampled over by extremely fast jeeps on extremely narrow road!
The view on top will be worth it, they assured me [and themselves]. It was. The cave apparently had evolution of writing. Hah.
It was time to start the downward climb.
Funny videos, buttermilk and photos. The bike seat had heated up. I think it was here they decide to exchange places - Now she discusses Shakespeare with him :). We ride down to paddle boat lake, Vek reads a billboard ad that gives him ideas - our budding lame author after all! :) Nothing much to do there, we leave.
A silent ride to see a waterfall - Part of the ride, the bikes had to trek! We reach, it rains. We sit for awhile in our own worlds before deciding to get drenched in the rain and ride back. I have to protect my camera.[and all their cellphones!]

Riding in the rain - one of the best experiences... Ever.

Rain stops, so do we for awhile - before ripping halfway down so we get dried off. It works, there is wind-blown effect.
We reach back and go to fellow aquariuan's house. Some delicious coffee and then to a place called Zain's. Food was good - did we end up at coffee day again? I think we did.
Back home, we play some Uno - some Just Cannot remember the rules! There is mallu talk.
Soon they leave, she falls asleep, we talk.
We upload the photos - they looked beautiful. We fight about what always bothers me. There is some heart-to-heart talk. We realize. I hope this is true friendship and it lasts.... Finally its time to sleep.

Today was unbelievable.
Again, I say,
So what if it rained? It felt good.

Cheers!

Kerala - memories- Calicut

2008-06-01T21:16:00.005+05:30

Who would have ever thought....
And thats how it started.
"Im going to Calicut, can`t come today," he said.
"Damn! Your always going of somewhere! Ditcher!"
"Come along then!"
"Are you mad??"
"No, im serious. You and her come of... I`ll arrange everything."
She said yes lets go.
And I got convinced into actually agreeing to my crazy friends` crazy plans!

Next thing we know... We`r off!!
...... Sitting in the driver`s cabin, laughing at the faces the poor boy makes, being stuck behind a very huge man.
...... Wondering about how this crazy plan was actually happening, becoming reality.
....... Glad she was by my side in this crazy adventure...
...... Too bad he didn`t have anything to eat.
...... There was a bug, it looked like my scarab. It felt lucky.
...... He smoked, we talked and fell asleep.
...... There were elephants on the way... and some late night music.

Next thing we know... We were there!
It looks like Ooty she said. But that was before reaching middle of nowhere and catching my first djang mallu auto! We walked down to the aunt`s house. Who knew how less we`d communicate!
We said hello, grinned and fell asleep.
He barged into the room, smiled and broke the shell bracelet - but that was only the begining of the things to be broken and slipped out of his hand. But no worries, it will be fixed. Oh the innocent little face! :P
We reach his house and wonder what to do. Coffee day? "You come to Calicut to go to coffee day!" remarks the funny guy.
We go anyways. There is curdy coffee. It is given away. A funny cellphone incident that will never be forgotten and the lame joker decides to be a budding author... - I wait for the book. :)
S.M street for shopping. We meet a fellow aquariuan. There is falooda and mango masti. Arabic fela fels later. Now for some deep thought on the rocks.
We go to another beach and wow! we are in awe. What a sunset, what beauty! The picture is taken, the debate continues - the camera or me.

Back home and already we have had so much fun to write about... and this is only day 1!

Blog tag game! haha!

2008-05-21T18:05:00.003+05:30

Last movie seen in a theatre: Ah.. well.. Speed Racer... Full of flowery pink and purple race tracks! ugh!

What book are you reading?A short history of nearly everything... and some books in Landmark and Crosswords - My library!

Favourite board game: Clue! I always dreamt of being a detective in the fantasy stage of vocational choices! -Hah. I sound intellectual- Oh and yes, Scrabble in Barista and Chess on my laptop when they decide to cut the power for.. um.. the millionth time!

Favourite magazine: um...-looks around- um.. will get back to you on that... -runs away and never comes back-

Favourite smells: Ah... rain, wet earth, my favourite perfume, coffee... sigh...

Worst feeling in the world: Being talked about behind your back.. Especially when you know it! And then there is confusion...-grin-

What is the first thing you think of when you wake up? Morning? Afternoon? 3 am? Oh no, I have to go to a mall...

Favourite fast food place:Um... Does Qwiky's count as fast food?-grin- and that golgappa guy!

Future child’s name: Hmm... lets not spoil that poor kid's future from now itself ok?

Finish this statement, “If I had a lot of money I’d…” : Travel the world.. Alone, with friends! Buy a horse? :D

Do you drive fast? Oh no.. of course not! Never.. I don't know the meaning of ripping...-insert evil laugh here-

Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? Teddy Toodles? Nah... I.sleep.alone.

Do you eat the stems on broccoli? Huh? Do I eat broccoli?

If you could dye your hair any colour, what would be your choice? Pink! Hah! you wish! Green i think...
Name all the different cities/towns you have lived in: Bangalore... Zürich! :D

Favourite sports to watch: Stuff on Animal planet? F1 I' say actually...

One nice thing about the person who sent this to you: Par...! hmm...! isn't the testimonial enough?-grin- she's ma stoopid sista and I lou her! Mwa! hehehe!

What’s under your bed? More beds for those nice sleepover times! Ah... how i miss em!

Would you like to be born as yourself again? Yeah... I guess... Big deal.. But I wouldn't mind being somebody else either... Should be fun... -she is still thinking about this question 3 days later-

Morning person or night owl? Morning? Afternoon? 3am?

Over easy or sunny side up? I hope your referring to eggs?I only like the ones made by that nice chef on the Egypt cruise. However he makes it!

Favourite place to relax: My room, qwicky's, sometimes in class!-yes, it is true. It Can be relaxing when a teacher is un-present-

Favourite ice cream flavour: Chocalate, chocolate chip with vanilla, anything in Gelato except mango i think...

You pass this tag to – Ah well... This is the difficult question... I don't know..
Abhijit,
Priya,
Shruti?

Of all the people you tagged this to, who’s most likely to respond first? Hehe! Im guessing Abhijit.. or Shruti if i manage to convince her its for her own good! -grin-

Ok so what you guys have to do is copy this tag game, paste, link the person who tagged you (me!) and choose five more people to tag and link them.Go on, its not that difficult! You can do it! Fly forth my children! Fly forth!

The perfect life - Part I

2008-05-09T17:16:00.001+05:30

"I'm sorry you couldn't see the best weather here."
"So did you like it?"
"The people here are very.. um.. not exactly fun!"

But,
"Zurich - live it, love it!" Thats what its called, he said.

Wake up in the morning, get dressed in a hurry, pack the laptop. Put the bread, banana and flavoured yogurt... maybe some chocolate in a zip lock. Put on those suave boots, that beautiful, warm jacket. Wear that attitude and walk through that grassy path to the bus stand. The oh-so-perfect timing bus arrives and the automatic doors open. Step in and take the place by the window, opposite the map - Just to make sure its the right stop. But there is no need to worry, it will be. Always.
The perfect morning.

Walk into the building, the college. It is as perfect, with ancient stone path ways, as a college could ever be. There is a big ancient door with a big door handle. Push it and inside is a modern college with all the facilities imaginable. Greet The Researcher, he always smiles. The work is perfect. Clear doubts of students. Yes, there will be good-looking ones.
Lunch - Anything. Fela fels? Thai food? Silly Indian mensa? Its all there. The smiling Researcher pays.
Back to another typical old building, another college. More doubts, more good looking students.
Time to go home. "I'm so glad you are here! Makes it so easy for me!" said the Researcher.
The perfect job.

Catch the tram, bus on time. Back home. The door is opened and he/she is smiling. "How did it go?" they ask. "Good, may get a little boring," I say. He pulls my leg about calling the work boring. She smiles. "Are you hungry?" she asks. "Yes!" I reply. Then we put on a movie or series and watch. There is some small talk, some jokes, some fun and a lot of food. It's late, time to sleep. Check the downloads, give more suggestions, little talk, tell stories, he asks questions. "How can you think of such questions?" she laughs. Then its good night. Lets get some sleep, we are tired.
The perfect day with my people.

So what if it rained? It felt good.

Loner

2008-05-01T01:21:00.001+05:30

Im going away,
Until May,
Leave me alone,
Even my phone.
I will come back
and then maybe we`ll talk
or i may forget
and decide to walk.

But when you reach me,
I shall see,
What new excuse
I can give.

Cause Im a loner,
Dont you see?
Hurt you? That could never be.

I know i mean a lot,
so leave me alone.
Its just a phase,
Its not in haste.

The day will come,
and we`ll meet,
I know you ask me to every week.

How i feel?
Even i dont know.
Im just a loner for my part,
So leave my alone, my sweetheart.

goodbye

2008-05-01T01:11:00.000+05:30

This is for that friend that i once thought was worth it, but proved to be wrong and she know`s it.
She`s going away and Im glad. She did make things difficult for me.
Sometimes.... Life`s like that.

Now is the time to think,
so come just give me a hint,
Whats on your mind today?
Again will you play?

Looking up, I catch a glimpse
Of movement in the wind.
Was that you who made
the colour in my face to fade?

When you sit next to me,
this is how i feel-
the friendship you gave to me,
is like a cold porridge meal.

So watch me as i walk away,
Into the arms of another day.
If i look back i know you`ll say,
You are going the other way.

May life bring us both the joy,
like our nice favourite toy.
We`ll leave behind the crazy blues,
As i turn life into something new.

PS : But no, i still wont like you.

Today...

2008-04-14T16:07:00.002+05:30

One of my first and favorite poems... Can't believe I hadn't put it up.. To my friends who have read it before... It is Now complete! :)

Today I thought it shall all be fine,
One little chat and then he’s mine.
Today I will say what I feel,
Today I’ll call.

Today I thought I’ll stand by and wait,
Hold on to it until its too late.
Today I’ll hang on to all I have,
Today I’ll hope.

Today I heard what he had to say,
Hurt myself till I couldn’t move away.
Today I saw hatred in those eyes,
Today a part of me died.

Today I saw him walk by me,
There was something in his eyes I cannot see.
Today I wonder what I see,
Today, I decide.

Today is my day,
I’ll let go and leave.
Today I will try to come back and breathe.
Today I’ll drink.

Today I swore to do one last thing,
No hope, no love, no jealousy.
Today, I go against my principles for you,
Today I smoked.

Today I think of memories,
But happy is what I want to be,
Today I take a step, trip and stand up,
Today I try to move on.

Today its 3a.m - neither morning nor night,
My weird feeling comes to my mind,
Today you choose to message again,
Today I wake up.

Today I realize I've moved on,
No looking back and feeling down,
Today friendship is what I feel,
Today I'm happy.

New post

2008-04-11T18:03:00.000+05:30

This is a new post... no really, it is!
Alright... I am experiencing serious writer's block right now! There are so many things I want to write on... But just... can't! Damn these exams... drain everything out of you and fill it with a lot of things you won't remember later anyway and will end up referring your old books or better still, the Internet!
Ok, That was a long sentence!
Writer's block... ah... yeah ok, can't think of anything to say about it!
Well then, guess there is only one thing left to say then...

Cheers! :)

Some fun....

2008-04-05T18:33:00.000+05:30

A fast flight around the Zodiac.. Something mildly interesting i found in Linda Goodman...
A discussion among the people of the different signs... the way they'd react... on the topic of calling cards..!?!!

Aries : Don't need them. I use the telephone.

Taurus : It's rare that I go calling. People visit me.

Gemini : Calling cards! Who has the time for calling cards?

Leo : Well, if they were really wild, and impressive looking --

Virgo : I'll have to check Emily Post and see exactly what she says.

Sagittarius : My gawd! You mean people still take time for that junk?

Scorpio : If they're not home, they miss me. It's their loss, not mine.

Aquarius : I wonder if it's raining outside? I thought i heard thunder.

Cancer : Cards are so impersonal. I'd rather write a note.

Pisces : I always sense when people aren't there, and I only call on them when i get a subliminal message they want to see me.

Capricorn : The custom is perfectly proper. But there's no point in discussing the design. If it's not engraved, it's not a calling card.

Libra : Well, it all depends. If you want to do the correct thing, you should have them. It's a charming gesture. On the other hand, using them might seem pretentius today. Of course, you have to consider the reason behind the custom. Then again, there are people who can't afford calling cards.......

Well... This post is only because i found it interesting... All you critics out there [and i know there are Many of you!] Just read it and get a laugh out of it! You really don't need to analyze it!!

Oh and also... Dedicated to my so-cool aquariuan friends!

Cheers! :)

exactly that.

2008-03-25T20:37:00.000+05:30

fjhdgtsismsnhfghyytrwdvahdsufufgfgnskaiwusbzalopeuthfngdgteakaiighfnvmxlsowpdlfkgughnsksiufhdngdgstdngjhkkhkh
fnfhfmdkdkdifhgnfskfhlskjgrshg;OISAfuh098w4t yuisldhznv wp veW!#$%^&*((((((((((())__+_)(*&^%$#@!hj2`1ikjhkjdfnhf kpkmj;lh,jyjyufhrtujrj5y456j4jsdhyyu\\\\

GO figure!

Cheers! :)

Uh!

2008-03-16T21:46:00.000+05:30

This is something like a "dear diary" post i guess... I haven't found an outlet for my feelings in awhile so this is going to be another random "I-am-here-to-express-my-feelings" kind of post!!

You know when sometimes your just sitting and thoughts suddenly come flooding into your head? I mean its not intentional... It just happens! I was online on orkut, checking my mail and doing the usual shit people online do... And then suddenly, a feeling of nostalgia - I fall back into this pit of the past. A place and time where memories were reality and you had no clue your life would turn out this way...

Now i sit here, thinking of what it was like a year ago, my life - so different, so.... unpredictable. Nothing of what i thought it would be like a year later! People have come, people have gone... Some, surprisingly have managed to stick. Some i look back at, wishing things were different, some i look at, glad they were going away. New people i meet, and they interest me as always. I always manage to find something different about everybody! Some new people manage to remind me of old ones, and yet make me smile. Some make me wonder how long they'll stay.

There are a few people though, i just cannot figure out. Somebody i got to know 3 years ago, somebody who was there for me, for whom i will always be. I don't even remember what he looks like, and yet... one of the best people i have ever known in my life. One day I hope to meet you dear fuzzy li'l pink bunny, and I hope that would be one of the best days of my life. You rock man, Love ya! :)

Then comes the story of my first love... Sigh.. I guess the statement - better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all is true! That one year, i learnt more than any other time in my life! It was definitely worth all the pain of the break up and everything! Still love ya man! I hope you are really happy and do great in all that you do! And oh yeah! I Do really mean that!

Now the rest of my friends - I guess i have mentioned enough number of times how much you guys mean to me! been there for at all the right times, understand me so perfectly at times, and yet get me irritated with the things you guys manage to say! Stoopid bums! -grin- Love you peoples too... You people are great!

Alright... I guess thats as far as my oh-so-personal post goes...! I'll probably look at this a few days later and ask myself what the f**k was wrong with me... But what the hell!! Thats life!

Cheers! :)

What if?

2008-03-08T11:20:00.000+05:30

I have a gun and I walk home with it,
I have a gun because she says I have to do it.
Pull the trigger and shoot the male chauvinistic pig she said,
Fight for your rights, let justice be done.
“If I had a gun,” she thought,
And what If? I asked.

I would put a hole into his chest,
I would make him suffer for the way he treats me.
I would show him where his eyes belong,
I would shoot him for his “ridiculous private thoughts.”
I’d shoot that man, who’d comment on my clothes and pat me on my head,
Like that dog he owns.

But don’t your girlfriends do that? I asked,
You like it when they say it,
And they call you their bitch too!
Why shoot the man who comes to you for wisdom?
You know you like to give it.
Shoot that egotistic, discriminating man- that human,
Would I really do it? I wondered.

He thinks you are his dress-up-doll,
His stupid little plaything.
He checks you out up and down,
And treats you like his piece of meat.
You have that gun, girl,
You have that power, she said.

But we like a well-dressed man as well,
The kind that shines and comes out of his shell.
We assess that man with keen eyes,
And then we decide that yes, indeed, our choice was wise.

The gun I have, and maybe the power,
But kill a confused man?
I will not commit that crime.

Anger, frustration, ego, revenge- it is the same everywhere.
She wishes she had a gun,
count your lucky stars, she doesn’t have one.
I will not pull the trigger when I come home,
Treat me with respect, and I’ll give you some.
But remember, I am a woman too,
My reading is different, but my breathing the same.

This is something i wrote for my general english class in response to Gig Ryan's poem, If i had a gun.

Cheers! :)

Thoughts running in my head

2008-02-26T21:53:00.000+05:30

So... What now?
Wonder whats wrong...
Does it really matter?
True friends...
how long!
Mallu boys.. Gods!
How much do i really matter ?
Apparently not enough..
Have i reached a limit?
Bah!
Go on...
Where'd you go?
What to do!
-sniff sniff-
Don't some people just get it?
food...
T-shirt episodes of fun...!?
Friday!
Photography... Sigh...
What to do now!
Need to find a solution...
Just so gone!

Yes, I do think of all of this and more at one time... I know... I think a lot.

Cheers! :)

How does it work again?

2008-02-13T20:38:00.000+05:30

Listen... You hear nothing.
Speak... You are deaf.
Understand... That is stupidity.
Care... There is nothing there.

It's my life you say,
People have a role in it i think.
It's my right you say,
I have mine too, i think.
We do what we want to do,
where do the others fit in?

"It's all about the he said, she said bullshit"
It always will be.
The way you think, is the right way for you.
It always will be.

The world is a weird place...
so are my people in it.
And it always will be.

Sigh... Again... The weird way people act and react to situations in life... Always concludes as yes, indeed, People Are Strange.

Cheers!

Some photography...

2008-02-09T22:20:00.002+05:30

These are some pics i took on the Nile cruise... My fellow mates.. any good for time and space?

Conversations...

2008-02-03T20:50:00.001+05:30

Stoned guy, me and P!
P : That guy is checkin you out.. He's so stoned!
Me : Haha! ugh!
P : He's coming over... hehe!

Stoned guy : Hi.. your drinking lime soda..
Me : yes.....
Stoned guy : Not cool.. Drink beer!
P : She doesnt like beer.
Stoned : oh.. not cool. [to P] your drinking beer.
P : ya. i know.
Stoned guy : [after Ages!] so... what-are-you-girls-doing-here?
Me : Um..
P : Just like that.
Stoned : You should drink beer.
Me : Ok.
Stoned : So, how come just two girls? You don't often see just two girls come like this.
P : Ya well, we like spending time together.
Stoned guy : [really slooowwwly] So... you girls.... are... together then?
P : yes.
Stoned : Oh.
Stoned : Guess where my girlfriend is from! Guess! Guess!
Me and P together : Kazhakistan! Pakistan! Christ college!?
Stoned : No... Kuwait!
Us : oh.
Stoned : [to me] My girlfriend thinks i don't have good bisceps. Why do you think?
Me : Ask her!
Stoned : But I did!
Me : What did she say?
Stoned : No, tell me what you think!
Me : Ask her!
Stoned : No.......
Me : Ok.
P : [comes back] So... You were telling us about your ex girlfriend!
Stoned : Ex?
P : [oops] No, i meant your girlfriend. Girlfriend.
Stoned : No... Tell me... Why do you think ex?
P : No, tell me... your girlfriend.
Stoned : hmm. What do you do? where do you study?
Us :Near here only.
Stoned : oh. ok. Where...do...you...live...again?
Me : near here.
Stoned : ok.

Hahahaha! the whole conversation is big and he spoke sooo slooow!!! Funny!!! P man... Your the girl! Girls rule!!

Egypt!

2008-02-02T20:34:00.001+05:30

In love with that place!! From offerings to Amon Ra to picking up crocs to Nile cruise to bakshish!! Not to mention that loooonnng list of temples visited!! Perfect holiday ever!
And yes... of course, the many wonderful pictures taken by the DSLR... sigh...

The pyramids, trust me, are not all that great... your driving in the middle of the city, traffic and everything... and suddenly the guide says, look to your left... and behold! the wonder of the world! It is indeed hyped and not all that magnificant if you ask me...
Horus! My god of protection! Son of Isis and Osiris! The moment i learnt about Horus, he was my god... Each one of my friends have their own gods of worship now... Weird I know...

If you ever go to Egypt, You must eat the food there... delicious! and visit the market! Its so much fun bargaining with them! [be sure you have the time for it though!] Buy some essence... Its good stuff.
There are a LOT of temples.. so be prepared to admire ancient art and architecure... Too much "guide-lecture" may bore you though...

Life can sure be funn sometimes! :)

Cheers!

Confused reality...

2008-02-02T20:25:00.000+05:30

IT happens........... People change.
IT happens........... They turn back.
IT happens........... Memories blur.
IT happens.......... You walk away.
IT happens.......... Eyes see.
IT happens.......... Fools feed.
IT happens.......... There wont be a reason.
IT happens.......... Its not just the season.
IT happens.......... You may laugh.
IT happens.......... It could be a mask.
IT happens.......... There will be questions.
shIT happens...... And thats the simple answer.

This was thoughts i had in class about another person's life.... very random again... i know... i may add more later... anyways shIT happens!
cheers! :)

Happy b day...?

2008-02-02T20:24:00.000+05:30

It's a weird day, it really is...
I have an exam tomorrow and here i am... feeling weird...
It has been a good day, there is no denying that... and yet, there is something missing... It's just Not complete... But then again, you can't have it all!
I am 19 today... I Do feel 19... but there are times i feel 18,17,16,15,14....5! Those are days of my life too... just plain memories as i look back on them today.
18, i must say, was by far my most eventful year! EVERYTHING happened then! Past, present, future... I got a blunt glimpse of it all...

Friends, have indeed played a very important role in my life! Some may not know it... But they really do matter... and so does what they say.
It does feel nice when a lot of people wish you on your birthday doesn't it? Especially when its someone you don't really expect!

Which is better? Being the first one to wish or the last one to wish?I guess different people have different philosophies! No wonder I've been getting calls and messages all day long!!! :):):)

Oh, and birthday wishes do come true! You know... the ones you make before blowing of the candle on your cake...? [matchstick in my case!] Things like that really Do make your day !

Oh well... summing it all up... It doesn't matter that I had to be there for a devastated close friend cause he lost someone precious and had to face the horrors of death, or the fact that i still kind of, li'l bit wish Somebody would wish me, Or that my best friend a.k.a stoopid sista is half asleep on the bed listening to random music and messaging some random guy!
It doesn't even matter that i have an exam tomorrow and i don't know what I'm going to write!..... well... ok... maybe that matters a li'l...!

I am 19 today!!! My last teenage year!!! And I'm going to make the most of it!!!
-walks away in absolute teenage rebellion-

P.S: Well... there is also the whole shit about I am going to be responsible and mature now like dad wants me to be and everything... but what the hell, won't really bore you or myself with that!! :):)

Cheers!

Bleh

2008-02-02T20:23:00.000+05:30

Its funny how you can just wake up in the morning sometimes and know your day is going to be all wrong... few things will be right... few you expect to go wrong... few... well, just happen!
Thats when this feeling of Blehness creeps into you... Its not happy, its not really sad... its not even truly angry... You feel hate, yes.. But you could also be thinking of something very deeply...
Its when you want to be left like that... You know it will pass... But when its here, some people rather accept it. It makes you want to sigh and breathe deeply, it makes you want to just be pissed off and shout at someone, it makes you want to cry, get drunk, listen to loud music...
But it will pass... It will come again, no doubt... But again, it will pass...

Yes children, thats the circle of life.

Just plain weird!

2008-02-02T20:22:00.000+05:30

Hmm... who is it i wonder?
That makes things so, and then plunder.
What to do What to do What to do?
This need to stop it is nothing new.

Is there somebody either way,
wonder where the true feelings really lay.

Jealous, betrayed or just disappointed?
Wait or .......?
Happiness is momentary.
It is one, alone feeling to battle away the many that come more easily.

Brother, don't worry, I know you have faith.
Me, I don't know - how is it to keep faith?
Is it good? Is it bad? Is it simply something they lack?

Blank faces, faces filled with love... Some just show the mask they cover.
Cover your face, cover your mind,
Who you really are, who knows? Your just lying.

There is very li'l of you,
there really is.
When you look at me,
you know what it is...

People are strange,
They always were i guess..
But brother you see,
Its also you and me.
Its just plain weird,
how things turn out to be...

P.S: Each one of these stanzas were written keeping different people in mind. and also the events that took place...
Just my usual conclusions on how people can be so strange! :)
Cheers!

Random thoughts...

2008-02-02T20:21:00.000+05:30

It is like... the bottom of an endless pit,
It is like an itch u cannot scratch,
it is like taking 1 step forward, and two steps behind, and 1 step forward again.

It is like the law that was never written,
It is like a book with no ending,
It is like that one song.

It is like the photo frame with no photo,
It is like the half-burnt cigarette,
It is like the unfinished conversation.

It is like the far away thought,
It is like an unknown country,
It is like a hidden away memory.

It is like something behind you,
It is like shadows on the wall,
It is like growing insanity.

It is like the wayward wind,
It is like the lonely horse,
It is like random thoughts.

It is like your old old friend,
It is like an unknown feeling,
It is... just... like that.

You know? like that.

True friendship..

2008-02-02T20:20:00.001+05:30

Everybody has a somebody...
They may not be like a boyfren or girlfren, but your best frend.
And not the best frens like u go out for lunch wit them and sit with them in class. It will be one person.One person who understands you when nobody does. One person who you can call Your best frend. Almost like one person who is yours. You can share everything or just nothing with this person... it really doesnt matter. They just know you anyways. They know your faults, they are there for you when nobody else can be... and they even know you keep secrets about you from them. But never will they complain. They will fight with you, but one silly poem or stupid joke will put that right.
They will stay forever. They will be yours. When the day comes for them to choose a path to walk with the one they care about the most, they will choose you. Over everybody else. That proud moment when they say Yes, you shall be my bridesmaid, or best man. That one moment when they fight for you with somebody stronger than them. That is all that matters.
I wonder if everybody has a best frend like that... they all seem to. Yet they complain that they are empty, that nobody loves them.
You may loose a man/woman you love, but if you have this kind a best fren... thats all you need. They will always be there to understand you.
Then there are other frends who come into our life and go... They seem like they mite be the perfect best fren... but they are taken... they already have their perfect best frend. You are just... There. They care for you but....

I wonder where mine is.....

Addictions...

2008-02-02T20:12:00.000+05:30

No worries! this is not a social topic where im gonna say they are bad, dont do it and stuff!! :)
what im talking about are the small addictions... Like when you are addicted to one song and you cant get it out of your head or your playlist!!! Or like that one snack you just HAVTA have when you reach home or when you lay your eyes on it!

Its just really weird.... and you turn to them especially when your going thru something intense most of the times... but i guess its ok as long as its not really harming you seriously... but do these addictions really help? i mean is it just all in your head?
but in a way that doesnt matter if it IS all in your head.. it helps you get rid of whatever your trying to atleast momentarily right?

Try these harmless addictions when you need to:

Music!!! - tops my list... look for songs that define your mood
Non-poisonous, edible food... small quantities at different times...not all at once!
Writing maybe?
play some game.... you can get addicted to it cuz you need to concentrate and get your mind of things...
a place... maybe that place just gives you "That" feeling you know? like you need to be there...
books.... take to reading one kind of book... mostly the kind you can connect with at that time!

Ah.... life....

This is me

2008-02-02T20:10:00.000+05:30

this is me
absolute randomness
absolute absurdity
absolute need
absolute state of blankness

I Wish...........!