Random post # 27356

A gay man, 2 transgender women, an intellectual, my senior and me.

This is the story of the National Conference. At least for me it is. Today is a day later. A day later from the 2 day national Conference on Sexuality and Psychology. A day later from the hectic running around and putting confused pieces of the conference together.

Changes. A week of it all it has been. Who knew a week was enough. A roller coaster ride from fixing laptop to small, warm birthday, to spending quality time, to random partying and then running back to hectic conference fixes, dead film reviews, intellectual conversations with gay friends with a mixture of scandalous gossip.

And there was still more for photo taking, night singing, random driver talk and trips to out of town, flirty transgender babe and Freud discussions.

A week and a day later, I can still sit and write pages about it. I only need to figure out where to begin and where to end. This post has no particular order of things. Simply because there is no particular order to life right now. Order is not the word of the year it seems. Not for me at least. I remember in PUC one of my first stories was about chaos and confusion in other people’s lives and how I loved creating those. Today I write about my own.

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There is no life plan. It’s a wish, an imaginary feeling to make one feel better about tomorrow. Life just happens. There is no stopping it. One day im thinking how life would, no scratch that, shall be when I have this, this and this done. And the next I realize im floating down a different stream. My boat still has pieces of my fate I control, but its hidden somewhere beneath the oars that lie limp beside me. It took me a random movie to realize I need to pick up those pieces and put it in a waterproof bag. It took me some thinking to realize I can pick up those oars and give my life boat a direction. Sure the heavy waters pull me slightly off direction, but they all join the big ocean in the end. And the ocean is not the end. It’s the endless.

I tend to lose myself in the process,
But I find myself in all the mess.
I may get disillusioned on the way,
But reality shines as bright as day.
I like to get high and dream,
I watch stars as I float down my stream.
But sooner or later I sit up and think,
And life makes sure to give me a hint.

Cheers.